I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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