you would pick up someone in the library
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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