too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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