I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize