I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
