Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
