She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
