Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
