I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
