I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
