the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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