Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
