**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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