Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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