I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
