I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
he puts the penis in happiness.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
