and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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