I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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