So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
