You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
