to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Randomize
