Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
