It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
