where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
