He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
