So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
