Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
