Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
