I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
