Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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