just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Randomize
