Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
