Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
