worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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