margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
