I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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