ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
