Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
