my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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