Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
