we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
