I was born with a shot glass in my hand
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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