I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize