We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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