Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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