He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize