this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
