Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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