wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
