youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
