pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
