so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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