I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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