What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
