Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
