Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
