so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize