reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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