please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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