oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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