He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
