"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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