yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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