Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
