you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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