He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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