How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
