Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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