are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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