Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
God, you're like boner-b-gone
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
