he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
