it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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